?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Explorations · of · a · Complex · Mind


AKA The Place Where I Write Some Stuff

Recent Entries · Archive · Friends · Profile

* * *
Man, I just had a very wonderful evening at home with Mer!  We had delicious whole artichokes dipped in warm garlic butter and homemade-from-scratch Special Dark Brownies with Special Dark syrup drizzled on top...mmmmmm.  So wonderful.  I got some knitting done as well.  We had some fun looking into songs to sing but, no practicing happened.  lol

Tomorrow night, I'm not going out so anyone interested in coming over to my house for wine, possibly food, knitting (or some other craft you prefer), music, and relaxed fun, are more than welcome.  Actually, food is pretty likely; people don't usually escape my house unfed or "unwatered"...if they do, it's not because I didn't try. ;)

A fire in the back yard might also happen depending on the mood of the group that gathers.  Anybody here musicians?  Bring an instrument and we'll turn the night into a down-home music festival! lol  If you don't have a crafting or musical bone in your body, feel free to bring food or drink if you wish.  Nothing is required of anyone, though.  I just like entertaining at home and enjoying the company of good people.

Give me a call if you have any questions, comments, or need directions :)  386-365-1584

I don't have a car at my disposal tomorrow until after 11pm since Ari will be at work until then so I unfortunately will not be able to pick anyone up.

Hope to see y'all there!
Current Location:
Home
Current Mood:
happy happy
* * *
Man, I really don't use this much.  I guess I just get bored with posting random stuff about my life lately.  I'd much rather say what is going on to people in person.  That usually implies that I care enough about those people to inform them...instead of putting my personal life in detail on the internet where anyone can read it.  But, hey, I suppose it doesn't hurt, huh?  Depending on what is posted.
Current Mood:
groggy groggy
* * *
Sometimes I feel so clumsy.  I just don't understand why I can't seem to get things right.  I think I've fixed something, try to tiptoe around my next "move" and fuck it all up because I failed to say that I was taking things into consideration and trying to be careful.  It sucks.  I just want time to figure things out.  It seems like that's what I'm almost always doing.  I'm insensitive.  Too self-contained.  Too masculine emotionally.  A bull in a goddamned china shop.  This is fucking bull shit.  I try but I'm not trying hard enough.  I don't say things when I should and I don't say them often enough.  I think I'm stepping things up, but apparently it's not a big enough difference to notice so still warrants complaint.  Once a fucking week.  Every week this happens.  Why?  Why can't I just give in?  Would it kill me to feel crappy to make someone else feel better?  I'm too self-reliant so I expect others to be the same.  This is wrong and I know it.  Do I wallow that much?  Maybe I do.  Enough to fuck things up anyway.  Just let me be upset by myself for a little while.  Or maybe that's the wrong thing to do.  Maybe you're right.  Maybe I'm too selfish.
Tags:
Current Location:
My Office
Current Mood:
pissed off pissed off
Current Music:
The Line of the Dead - Combichrist
* * *
Soon to be Married!

Wedding Information
Date: 04/26/2009
Time: 5:00pm
Location: If you lost your invitation, ask me or Ari.
Registered @: Bed Bath & Beyond under Bethany Blocker and/or Ari Chase.
 
To those of you who did not receive an invitation:
       Ari and I want to apologize to those of you left off of the invite list.  Please take no personal offense. Unfortunately, our budget only allows us to invite 150 people and most of it is composed of my family (not kidding, it's huge). We only wish that we could have invited everyone we wanted to, and we feel guilty about it, but there's nothing to be done about it.
       The above information was not provided because we are expecting everyone to get us gifts; it is for those that care to know and don't know who to contact to find out.
        All that we ask for is your understanding, well-wishes, and prayers for a life-long and happy marriage.

Current Location:
My Office
Current Mood:
Blessed
* * *
     My mechanic sucks ass! I'm supposed to be in Jacksonville (where school is) but I'm back in Gainesville tonight because the TRANSMISSION SHOP didn't actually fix my...omg TRANSMISSION! Go fucking figure.  You'd think that someone that dedicates their business to a specific part of a machine,  would actually have a fucking clue about what the hell they are doing in regard to said part.  Oooohhhh, how I would love to have a little heart-to-heart with them about what they are doing with their life...and how it should NOT be in the transmission business.  The damn car is doing the same damn thing I took it to them for.  They supposedly rebuilt my tranny, then waaaaay over-filled it with fluid (four inches PAST the "do not fill past this point" line) so it spewed the fluid all inside my engine bay thing, which started to burn, so I flipped out thinking my engine was about to completely die because there was smoke coming out of my hood and the car keeps slipping out of any gear I put it in.   After getting someone to bleed it out and refill it, I finally made it to school late in one piece.   I was barely able to drag my limping ass back to Gainesville in that piece of shit.   I hate my car.   I don't feel like being thankful that I have one at all...because I practically don't.  I'm not sure I can ever fully trust my car again.   I want a different one.  After I graduate, I can get a NEW one.
Current Location:
Not Jacksonville
Current Mood:
frustrated Royally Pissed
* * *
* * *
        I love life right now.  It's awesome!  Things are moving forward in directions I never thought they would but some of them I was expecting/hoping for.

       Oo oo!  I just got Sims 2 for my PSP and it's freakin' AMAZING like CRACK!!  I'm hungry.  My B-day was a blast.  All of my friends were there and I couldn't ask for more than that.  Guava and cream cheese pastries....  What was I saying?  Oh, yeah!  May was a kick-ass month for a lot of people. 

        My parents bought a new house on 25 acres in McAlpin(e?).  My mom turned 53 on the 1st, my life-long friend (Jackie.  Y'all don't know her.) turned 24 on the 16th, I turned 23 on the 19th, Mac turned 24 on the 30th, and Tam turned 21 on the 30th.

       I'm gonna go eat now.

Current Location:
The Computer Chair of Deathy-Doooom!!!
Current Mood:
chipper chipper
Current Music:
Unfortunately, none.
* * *
    Please bear with me but, I could not be more blessed right now. The Powers that be have seen fit to bestow upon me the gifts of love, happiness, prosperity, and peace. There is no possibility of me conjuring up a mythical boyfriend better than my Ari. Every day I am reminded of how fortunate I am to have him in my life.

    Sometimes I lay awake and listen to the even sighs of his sleeping form and thank the Higher Powers for every single one of those breaths I am able to be here for. Never in my life have I been loved and treated so well by my significant other. It is difficult for me to express in words his influence on my emotions. (This frustrates me some.) Ari always welcomes me into his embrace, in which, I ever find a waiting kiss.

    After our nightly ablutions are done and we draw up the sheets, I find peace under the weight of his arm around me. The tribulations of my day are sloughed away when he holds me close; thus allowing me to drift off into peaceful sleep.
Current Location:
Home
Current Mood:
peaceful peaceful
* * *
So, it's been a while since I posted last. Sorry...(Not that you guys really care anyway.)

Well, I have come to the conclusion that I'm ready (and need) to start living my life.

"But, haven't you already been living your life?" everyone asks.

"No, no, I haven't. I've existed in La-la Land, my own world, where I do what tickles my fancy and wait for some grandiose event or mystic sign to drop my life's purpose into my lap."

My grandmother died last week and I realized that I want to get started on my life. I've just floated along thus far, kind of drifted through and let happen what will happen. I don't want that anymore. I want regularity. I want harmony and company. I want complete independence.

It's funny how you think you know so much and feel like you are an adult when you leave home. When, in all actuality, you don't really know squat and you still depend so heavily on the support of parents, family, and friends.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that you grow out of needing their support emotionally, just monetarily, physically. I have discovered that with all of my maturity, I still have a child's mind and a child's view of many things. Time to grow up. For REAL. As much as it scares me, I know I will be happier for doing it in the long run. No more rescue missions for Momma and Daddy to embark on. Next time there's a rescue mission, I want it to be me rescuing my parents from nursing homes.

My plan, so far, is to find a decent "real" job (as my parents call it), keep running my online business, and register for ONE class at SFCC. I have given up on getting rid of my apartment and plan on just paying the last two months' rent. I am done with people. I am done with the disappointments. I'd much rather deal with them from afar as friends. I like friends more than business enemies...and roommates...so, friends it is!

While I am living my life one step at a time, eventually, I will find my true purpose in life. I know I am meant to do something great. Not necessarily big, but important...to someone. I want to help people. Perhaps spiritually...maybe physically...or I could go overseas and feed people. I'm not sure. I don't know where or how, but I know I'm going to find some way to do it(help people, that is). That's sort-of a purpose...I just haven't figured out the details yet.
Current Location:
Ari's Computer Chair of Destruction!
Current Mood:
optimistic optimistic
Current Music:
CCR - Who'll Stop the Rain and Jack Johnson - With My Own Two Hands
* * *
Happy fucking new year people! The End.
Current Location:
Ari's Howwwse
Current Mood:
tired tired
* * *
Life is good. Yay!
Current Location:
Ari's House
Current Mood:
bouncy bouncy
* * *
* * *

Previous