So, it's been a while since I posted last. Sorry...(Not that you guys really care anyway.)
Well, I have come to the conclusion that I'm ready (and need) to start living my life.
"But, haven't you already been living your life?" everyone asks.
"No, no, I haven't. I've existed in La-la Land, my own world, where I do what tickles my fancy and wait for some grandiose event or mystic sign to drop my life's purpose into my lap."
My grandmother died last week and I realized that I want to get started on my life. I've just floated along thus far, kind of drifted through and let happen what will happen. I don't want that anymore. I want regularity. I want harmony and company. I want complete independence.
It's funny how you think you know so much and feel like you are an adult when you leave home. When, in all actuality, you don't really know squat and you still depend so heavily on the support of parents, family, and friends.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that you grow out of needing their support emotionally, just monetarily, physically. I have discovered that with all of my maturity, I still have a child's mind and a child's view of many things. Time to grow up. For REAL. As much as it scares me, I know I will be happier for doing it in the long run. No more rescue missions for Momma and Daddy to embark on. Next time there's a rescue mission, I want it to be me rescuing my parents from nursing homes.
My plan, so far, is to find a decent "real" job (as my parents call it), keep running my online business, and register for ONE class at SFCC. I have given up on getting rid of my apartment and plan on just paying the last two months' rent. I am done with people. I am done with the disappointments. I'd much rather deal with them from afar as friends. I like friends more than business enemies...and roommates...so, friends it is!
While I am living my life one step at a time, eventually, I will find my true purpose in life. I know I am meant to do something great. Not necessarily big, but important...to someone. I want to help people. Perhaps spiritually...maybe physically...or I could go overseas and feed people. I'm not sure. I don't know where or how, but I know I'm going to find some way to do it(help people, that is). That's sort-of a purpose...I just haven't figured out the details yet.